As adults, we have a responsibility to nurture and shape the minds and hearts of our children. One essential quality we should instill in them is resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back in the face of adversity, to remain steadfast, and to grow stronger through challenging times.

In Islam, we find invaluable guidance on how to build resilience in children, drawing from the Quran, the sayings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), and contemporary scientific research.

Strengthening Faith

In the Quran, Allah reassures us,

Teaching children about the power of faith and reliance on Allah helps them understand that challenges are a part of life, but there is always hope and relief after hardship. Encouraging regular prayer, seeking knowledge, and engaging in acts of worship strengthen their faith and resilience.

Positivity and Gratitude

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) taught us,

This reminder urges us to teach children the importance of looking for the positives in every situation and being grateful for what they have. Research shows that cultivating gratitude reduces stress, improves mental well-being, and helps children cope with adversity.

Practicing Patience

Allah tells us in the Quran,

Teaching children the value of patience empowers them to endure difficulties and strive for better outcomes. Research indicates that patient individuals handle stress more effectively, exhibit higher levels of well-being, and are less likely to engage in risky behavior.

Encouraging Problem-Solving Skills

Islamic teachings emphasize the importance of seeking knowledge and finding practical solutions. Allah says in the Quran,

Providing children with opportunities to think critically, make decisions, and find solutions helps them become more resilient problem solvers. Research confirms that problem-solving skills enhance resilience and improve overall mental health.

Building Supportive Networks

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) emphasized the power of community, stating,

Encouraging children to build strong connections with family, friends, and the wider community helps them develop a support system that aids in resilience. Research consistently demonstrates the positive impact of social support networks on mental health and resilience.

Learning from Failure

Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) taught us,

Encourage children to see failures as opportunities for growth and learning instead of setbacks. Research shows that failure fosters resilience when children are taught to identify lessons, adapt their strategies, and persist in the face of adversity. By combining the profound wisdom of Islamic teachings with scientific research, we can effectively empower our children to develop resilience. It is essential to emphasize that resilience is not about avoiding challenges entirely but rather facing them head-on, with trust in Allah, and the belief that every difficulty carries opportunities for growth.

How to balance kindness with discipline to help children build resilience

Balancing kindness with discipline is essential in helping children build resilience. By incorporating both kindness and discipline, we can guide children towards developing resilience effectively.

Kindness is the foundation of a nurturing environment. Showing empathy, compassion, and understanding towards children allows them to feel supported and loved. By creating this positive atmosphere, children are more willing to embrace challenges and take risks, knowing that they have a safe space to fall back on. Kindness encourages children to build healthy relationships, boosts self-esteem, and fosters emotional well-being.

On the other hand, discipline plays a vital role in teaching boundaries, accountability, and responsibility. Children need structure and guidance to learn how to make good choices, set goals, and develop self-control. Discipline helps children develop important life skills such as perseverance, problem-solving, and self-discipline. It teaches them the value of hard work, dedication, and the ability to overcome obstacles.

Finding the right balance between kindness and discipline involves setting clear expectations, providing guidance, and using positive reinforcement. It is crucial to explain to children the reasoning behind rules and consequences, helping them understand that boundaries are set out of love and concern. It is equally important to communicate and listen to children, considering their perspectives and feelings throughout the process. By maintaining a balanced approach, we create an environment that nurtures children's resilience. They learn to adapt to challenges, take responsibility for their actions, and develop problem-solving skills. Moreover, they understand the significance of kindness in both giving and receiving support, fostering healthier relationships with their peers and adults.

What is helicopter parenting and how to avoid it?

Helicopter parenting refers to a style of parenting where parents are extremely involved and take excessive control over their child's life. This term originated from the helicopter image, as parents tend to hover over their children and closely monitor their every move. While the intentions behind this style of parenting may be well-meaning, helicopter parenting can have detrimental effects on a child's growth, independence, and self-confidence. To avoid helicopter parenting, it is essential to strike a balance between being involved in your child's life and allowing them to build their own experiences and successes.

Here are some strategies to help avoid helicopter parenting:

Trust your child

Allow your child to take on age-appropriate responsibilities and trust them to handle certain decisions on their own. This fosters independence and helps them develop problem-solving skills.

Encourage autonomy

Give your child space to make their own choices and face the consequences of their decisions. This teaches them valuable life lessons and builds resilience.

Practice effective communication

Maintain an open line of communication with your child, allowing them to express their thoughts and feelings. Listen actively and provide guidance when needed, but avoid overreacting or dictating their actions.

Promote self-reliance

Encourage your child to develop their own interests, passions, and talents. Support their endeavors, but allow them to take ownership of their pursuits without excessive interference.

Set reasonable boundaries

Establish rules and boundaries that strike a balance between safety and independence. Ensure these rules are clear and consistent, while still allowing room for your child to explore their boundaries and learn from their experiences.

Develop problem-solving skills

Instead of controlling every aspect of your child's life, encourage them to solve problems and overcome challenges on their own. Guide them through the process, but let them develop critical thinking and decision-making skills

As final thoughts, to help your child develop resilience, allow them to face and manage failures or setbacks. Assist them in learning from these experiences, rather than attempting to shield them from every obstacle or disappointment.

Remember, the goal of parenting is to raise independent, confident, and well-equipped individuals. By avoiding excessive control and allowing your child the freedom to navigate their own path, you are fostering their self-esteem, self-reliance, and preparing them for a successful future.

Trust Allah and ask for his help through patience and prayer. May He guide, protect and support all of our children. Ameen.